I'm tired and want to go to bed, but I wanted to say...
I'm getting married. ^_^
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sunday, July 06, 2008
After me come the floods
*Forgive the anger in this post, I just need to rant. At one point in this I get really pissed. I don't mean to offend people's religion, but I do NOT respect religions that do not respect me and mine.*
Февраль. Достать чернил и плакать!
Писать о феврале навзрыд,
Пока грохочащая слякоть
Весною черною горит.
Достать пролетку. За шесть гривен
Чрез благовест, чрез клик колес
Перенестись туда, где ливень
Еще шумней чернил и слез.
Где, как обугленные груши,
С деревьев тысячи грачей
Сорвутся в лужи и обрушат
Сухую грусть на дно очей.
Под ней проталины чернеют,
И ветер криками изрыт,
И чем случайней, тем вернее
Слагаются стихи навзрыд.
-Boris Pasternak (Falling more and more in love with the Russian language. The translation is at the bottom.)
I keep having these dreams...I'll talk about them at the bottom of this post. But before I do, I want to talk about three people who I'm very very proud of, to give a bit of background. These are three of my personal heros, and three of my best friends.
Pat finally decided to let us call him by his new name. His mother helped him pick it out, and I'm so proud of her for how supportive she's been. They decided on Scholastica (catholic patron saint, I believe) Aleksandra (a name Pat called himself when playing as a kid). Aleks for short.
I'm so proud of him for his bravery. He first started telling people he was transgender late last year, and he's already about to be on hormones, getting his name changed, and his therapist wants to see the SRS (sex reassignment) bottom surgery happen while he's in his early twenties. We don't think he'll need top surgery because of his current hormone level (low testosterone AND progesterone levels. He's like a blank slate).
I've also been spending a lot of time with Alyssa and Nat. They've been dating now for five years over the internet, and Nat's finally here. Even though Nat is living in Alyssa's mothers house, her mother doesn't know that they're lesbians. Alyssa's sister came out a time ago, and Alyssa's mom talks about her like she's some kind of damned prodigal (When really she's engaged to a woman and helping her raise her two sons in a really nice house on a good side of town. And did I mention she's super happy?), and refuses to talk to Angela. I'm proud of them for not giving up in spite of an enormous amount of pressure.
As for the dreams...
The first dream was a combination of blueprints and construction. I walked into the middle of a large square of ground with lots of grass and a couple of trees. I had blueprints in my hand, four buildings, one in each corner. The buildings were labeled "psych bldg", "medical bldg", "safe house" and "education bldg". There was a fifth building in the middle labeled chapel, and a playground between the education building and the safe house.
I walked around telling people how I wanted everything built, telling them what I wanted, picking out playground equipment, office supplies, deciding how many beds I wanted...and then I woke up.
In the second dream, everything was built. I was standing in the chapel with a big screen behind me, and the room was filled with people. I announced "Today is an important day, as was yesterday, as is tomorrow. I thank you all for your interest in being part of this team of extraordinary people who will change the world."
They watched movies on the screen that had been behind me, Barbara Walters special on transgendered children, Rent, Chasing Amy, If These Walls Could Talk 2, Ha Buah, Hedwig and the angry inch, etc. And one by one, I spoke privately with each one.
I spoke with psychologists, cosmetic surgeons, nurses, security guards, teachers, secretaries... Gave some jobs and tested some with one-way mirrors and actors to make sure they would be professional. I had to reject some, and helped each one find a job more suitable or an institute more suitable for them.
In the third dream, I dreamt of the first few days of this place that I had built. People would come for counseling and sex education, to discuss cosmetic surgery and SRS with our doctors, teenage runaways, battered people, and unwanted children flocked to the safe house.
This dream was shorter, most of the dream was of a 6 or 7 year old boy who my security found wandering the grounds at 4 AM. His mother dropped him off saying he was going to camp, abandoning him because she saw him kissing another boy. I sat and talked with him till the sun came up, and put him to bed in the safe house when he got tired. After that, I just sat up watching the kids on the playground and watching the teenagers sit in the grass and talk.
In each of these dreams, I haven't wanted to wake up. I want to do this. I want to dedicate my life to this. I love these people and want to make the world a better place for them. Calling transgendered persons an abomination. IT'S A BIRTH DEFECT! Are people born with birth defects also abominations? Are they supposed to just live with it??? Where the FUCK does it say it is wrong in the bible????? Why is a transgendered person sinning but a boob job isn't???
It is so unfair how our society treats these people, calling love a sin, unnatural, an abomination... Love can't be a sin!
I dare you, tell me this is a sin:
This has been angering me a lot lately. I'm not even a christian and see the problem. Hatred disguised as religion. Disgusting. Worse, religion disguised as politics! Our country seriously uses religion to justify anti gay marriage laws, and then tries to claim we have freedom of religion!
Anyway, I'm too pissed off and don't want to write anymore. So if you disagree and believe that being gay is a sin, read this: http://www.soulforce.org/article/homosexuality-bible-gay-christian
Translation:
February. Get ink, shed tears.
Write of it, sob your heart out, sing,
While torrential slush that roars
Burns in the blackness of the spring.
Go hire a buggy. For six grivnas,
Race through the noise of bells and wheels
To where the ink and all you grieving
Are muffled when the rainshower falls.
To where, like pears burnt black as charcoal,
A myriad rooks, plucked from the trees,
Fall down into the puddles, hurl
Dry sadness deep into the eyes.
Below, the wet black earth shows through,
With sudden cries the wind is pitted,
The more haphazard, the more true
The poetry that sobs its heart out.
Февраль. Достать чернил и плакать!
Писать о феврале навзрыд,
Пока грохочащая слякоть
Весною черною горит.
Достать пролетку. За шесть гривен
Чрез благовест, чрез клик колес
Перенестись туда, где ливень
Еще шумней чернил и слез.
Где, как обугленные груши,
С деревьев тысячи грачей
Сорвутся в лужи и обрушат
Сухую грусть на дно очей.
Под ней проталины чернеют,
И ветер криками изрыт,
И чем случайней, тем вернее
Слагаются стихи навзрыд.
-Boris Pasternak (Falling more and more in love with the Russian language. The translation is at the bottom.)
I keep having these dreams...I'll talk about them at the bottom of this post. But before I do, I want to talk about three people who I'm very very proud of, to give a bit of background. These are three of my personal heros, and three of my best friends.
Pat finally decided to let us call him by his new name. His mother helped him pick it out, and I'm so proud of her for how supportive she's been. They decided on Scholastica (catholic patron saint, I believe) Aleksandra (a name Pat called himself when playing as a kid). Aleks for short.
I'm so proud of him for his bravery. He first started telling people he was transgender late last year, and he's already about to be on hormones, getting his name changed, and his therapist wants to see the SRS (sex reassignment) bottom surgery happen while he's in his early twenties. We don't think he'll need top surgery because of his current hormone level (low testosterone AND progesterone levels. He's like a blank slate).
I've also been spending a lot of time with Alyssa and Nat. They've been dating now for five years over the internet, and Nat's finally here. Even though Nat is living in Alyssa's mothers house, her mother doesn't know that they're lesbians. Alyssa's sister came out a time ago, and Alyssa's mom talks about her like she's some kind of damned prodigal (When really she's engaged to a woman and helping her raise her two sons in a really nice house on a good side of town. And did I mention she's super happy?), and refuses to talk to Angela. I'm proud of them for not giving up in spite of an enormous amount of pressure.
As for the dreams...
The first dream was a combination of blueprints and construction. I walked into the middle of a large square of ground with lots of grass and a couple of trees. I had blueprints in my hand, four buildings, one in each corner. The buildings were labeled "psych bldg", "medical bldg", "safe house" and "education bldg". There was a fifth building in the middle labeled chapel, and a playground between the education building and the safe house.
I walked around telling people how I wanted everything built, telling them what I wanted, picking out playground equipment, office supplies, deciding how many beds I wanted...and then I woke up.
In the second dream, everything was built. I was standing in the chapel with a big screen behind me, and the room was filled with people. I announced "Today is an important day, as was yesterday, as is tomorrow. I thank you all for your interest in being part of this team of extraordinary people who will change the world."
They watched movies on the screen that had been behind me, Barbara Walters special on transgendered children, Rent, Chasing Amy, If These Walls Could Talk 2, Ha Buah, Hedwig and the angry inch, etc. And one by one, I spoke privately with each one.
I spoke with psychologists, cosmetic surgeons, nurses, security guards, teachers, secretaries... Gave some jobs and tested some with one-way mirrors and actors to make sure they would be professional. I had to reject some, and helped each one find a job more suitable or an institute more suitable for them.
In the third dream, I dreamt of the first few days of this place that I had built. People would come for counseling and sex education, to discuss cosmetic surgery and SRS with our doctors, teenage runaways, battered people, and unwanted children flocked to the safe house.
This dream was shorter, most of the dream was of a 6 or 7 year old boy who my security found wandering the grounds at 4 AM. His mother dropped him off saying he was going to camp, abandoning him because she saw him kissing another boy. I sat and talked with him till the sun came up, and put him to bed in the safe house when he got tired. After that, I just sat up watching the kids on the playground and watching the teenagers sit in the grass and talk.
In each of these dreams, I haven't wanted to wake up. I want to do this. I want to dedicate my life to this. I love these people and want to make the world a better place for them. Calling transgendered persons an abomination. IT'S A BIRTH DEFECT! Are people born with birth defects also abominations? Are they supposed to just live with it??? Where the FUCK does it say it is wrong in the bible????? Why is a transgendered person sinning but a boob job isn't???
It is so unfair how our society treats these people, calling love a sin, unnatural, an abomination... Love can't be a sin!
I dare you, tell me this is a sin:
This has been angering me a lot lately. I'm not even a christian and see the problem. Hatred disguised as religion. Disgusting. Worse, religion disguised as politics! Our country seriously uses religion to justify anti gay marriage laws, and then tries to claim we have freedom of religion!
Anyway, I'm too pissed off and don't want to write anymore. So if you disagree and believe that being gay is a sin, read this: http://www.soulforce.org/article/homosexuality-bible-gay-christian
Translation:
February. Get ink, shed tears.
Write of it, sob your heart out, sing,
While torrential slush that roars
Burns in the blackness of the spring.
Go hire a buggy. For six grivnas,
Race through the noise of bells and wheels
To where the ink and all you grieving
Are muffled when the rainshower falls.
To where, like pears burnt black as charcoal,
A myriad rooks, plucked from the trees,
Fall down into the puddles, hurl
Dry sadness deep into the eyes.
Below, the wet black earth shows through,
With sudden cries the wind is pitted,
The more haphazard, the more true
The poetry that sobs its heart out.
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