Reading time with Pickle

So again...We're looking for a place to stay again.

Not that Adam is lacking. The apt guy just wants up out. We have a little under a week to be out by.

Tony says I need to stop worrying so much and smile more often, But every time I try to sleep I wonder where I'll get the money for a car, for college, for an apartment...what about credit? Are loans a bad idea? How can I get a job to save up for a car if I don't have a car to get myself to work?

Every time I think about eating I think about my body. I'm gaining too much weight, I have no hair, my face looks like shit, this shirt makes my stomach look flabby, these pants are getting to tight. Makes it impossible to eat.

He says he loves me. Simply believing he's not lying, yeah, that would be too easy. My mind rejects everything I would want to hear, and writes it all off as lies.

I don't know what to think about anything.

All I know for sure is that I love him and refuse to stop loving him. All I know is I want to believe and I'll try hard to believe his every word.

All I know is we'll make it.

He dreamed about us and dreamed about pictures of me at christmastime. He dreamed about me holding a baby.

He says we'll make it. I pray that he's right.