Queerest of the queer

I slapped Tony over the head last night.

It's not abuse. He made me mad, and I slapped him upside the head. He keeps calling it "abuse", but I swear to god. I've done this twice, now, one during the breakup, one last night... Not making what I did right, but he needs to stop calling it "abuse". I've had the shit beaten out of me in relationships, and I was dumb enough to stay for a really long time. If I was truly abusive, he would have left by now.

We're actually becomming good friends aside from that...And still having sex...I've stopped caring. I'd rather sleep with my ex boyfriend than total stangers, which is what I used to do before I met him.

I've hit the strangest point. We're broken up, allowed to sleep with other people, and...(please don't let this ever be repeated ever...And Dany...please don't think I'm a horrible person)...We actually tried the whole threesome thing. I had a threesome before, just, not on purpose, and it was two men...But this was actually kind of a relief...there was no oral or intercourse involved. We got naked, made out in a bed, touched each other and went home.

I feel surprisingly good about it. I can't explain it.

Enough about my bizarro sex life :p It'll make an awesome movie someday I'm sure. This is why I'm happy today, and why I'm sad (the Bad is also why I hit Tony last night. I accused him of being "just like everyone else)

Good: The one year anniversary for quitting cocaine is the fourteenth, I think. I recall doing drugs for work around the 13th or 14th, and then quitting before my b-day. and the best part is, I TURNED DOWN COKE LAST NIGHT! This was the first time it's been offered to me in ages, and I turned it down. :) Not to mention turning down weed. That was surprising.

Bad: Today is the one year anniversary of getting pregnant :( Five months from now will be the one year anniversary of miscarrying. :(

Daniel, Over the years, Our lives have gone in completely different directions, I've made some HORRIBLE decisisions...And it's strange. Your still the only one I count on to always be there.

[Condescending my ass]