Lyrics

Ben Fold's Five
The last polka

well, she crept back in the house at half past 3
shook her head to see him snoring in his sleep
"if you really loved me," she said,
"I wouldn't have to be so mean"
he's a heap of junk that pours from his top drawer
he sometimes likes to spread it out around the floor
it's evidence of what he was like
he likes to remember when

sha la lie sha la lie lie lie
the end is growing near
and we're treading water now
and holding back our tears
and the day is rising,
we're sinking
sha la sha la lie

in a minute it will all be coming down
and they know it now,
but no one makes a sound
such a shame to ruin this bright
lazy, sunny day

sha la lie sha la lie lie lie
the end is growing near
and we're treading water now
and holding back our tears
and the day is rising,
we're sinking
sha la sha la lie

my oh my,
the cruelest lies are often told
without a word
my oh my,
the kindest truths are
often spoken,
never heard

she said,
"you've been pushing me like I was a
sore tooth"
"you can't respect me 'cause I've done
so much for you"
he said,
"well I hate that it's come to this,
but baby I was doing fine"
"how do you think
that I survived the other 25 before you?"

sha la lie sha la lie lie lie
the end is growing near
and we're treading water now
and holding back our tears
and the day is rising,
we're sinking

Last night I heard the screaming

One of these days Daniel, I'll listen to you. In response to a recent comment you left... Yeah, I'm not so sure getting to know Sarah was such a great idea, but hell, I learned something, about love, about desperation, about this idea of till death do you part. Had I married Sarah, and really held to that, I don't know that I'd be alive right now. She was wonderful in the beginning, but I can't believe what she's become.

*sigh*


oh yeah, and I got a B+ in logic and critical thinking. It turns out I was doing so well in that class, I didn't even have to know what a truth table was.

And, for whoever gives a rats ass, I got a B+ in psych, and A's in human sexuality and world religion (go figure). Hooray for me ;)

Words

"It is a sin to believe evil in others, but it is seldom a mistake."

H.L. Mencken.

I'm your only friend, I'm not your only friend, but I'm a little glowing friend, but really, I'm not actually your friend...

I wish I could say this has been the greatest time of my life and I was so busy having fun that I didn't have time to write.

That would be a lie.

I've actually spent that time being very lonely, very depressed, very sick and very angry.

Sometimes I think there isn't room enough in this house for both me AND Tony's over-inflated ego. He is a BEGINNER hypnotist. He's not been doing it long, but he thinks he's a fucking expert.

You know what? He can make me orgasm over and over with his voice, but after the sex, he's usually in a chat room bragging about himself (and all he'll really say to me is "I'm so awesome. What other man can do THAT to you?"...makes me sick.), leaving me feeling used and forgotten. He's not only not that great, he's quickly become the worst sex of my life, not because he's not good during sex, but because of how hurt I feel after it.

I'm trying so hard to be over him...In fact, I think I might be, but I'm so hung up on the idea that he was never in love with me, that he used me, that he was looking for an excuse to run away from his life in Georgia (all his words, not mine), It's hard to feel ok...

I wish just one person that I've fallen in love with would tell me they were in love with me... People either don't, or take it back.

*sigh*

Maybe my dad is right, maybe my standards are too high...But I'll be really upset if I'm really supposed to aim lower than this.