I can't get on this computer without seeing either naked pictures of his exes, or something horrible about me he's telling someone I don't know. Tonight it was that he's pissed at me for going through his things.
He seems to hold a total disregard for my feelings. Before him, I never became submissive for a man. I had an attitude, I was crass and mean...But I trusted him.
I never say anything mean about him. He has to convince his friends that he's in the right, and he's a good person...Seems I have to convince mine not to come after him and beat the hell out of him.
I'm nice. I offer my body, my time, my effort...I try so damned hard, and I'm still this evil bitch that he'll be glad to get rid of...But like Jeff said to me, We're arguing over two different things. I claim that I FEEL like Tony hates me. Tony always replies, "I don't hate you". I fail to notice that the argument has shifted, and the entire point gets lost.
I told him once words make a world of difference. Why doesn't anyone listen to me?
Four days fasting from sex and masturbation, and for good reason. Three days without a shower, Three days chaining, for no reason.
I'm not eating enough. At least I'm losing weight. I'm throwing up all the time again, This would be a great time to get sick huh?
And then theres Russ. I don't need to pretend to be Mother Theresa. Sometimes I can't come over, especially at 2 AM when I'm sick and stressed out.
BLAH!
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Email me and let me know what's going on. I left a comment a couple entries back ... something about china dolls... before the lyrics post, so go check it out when you get the chance. I am sorry for all the crap, but I am helpless to do anything for you here besides pray... and i haven't been the praying type in a long while... I should work on that.
*hearts*
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